I Felt the End Before It Came With Daniel Allen Cox
Daniel Allen Cox is a prolific and beloved Montreal-based author. He has written and published one novella, and four highly acclaimed novels. Daniel’s memoir-in-essays “I Felt the End Before It Came” dives into what it’s like to be raised and manipulated to reject yourself, or reject the only world you’ve ever known. Daniel grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness in the suburbs of Montreal. As he writes, “I spent eighteen years in a group that taught me to hate myself.” You cannot be queer and a Jehovah’s Witness—it’s one or the other.”
Daniel was a stellar guest, with hot and generous takes on Jehovah’s Witnesses, cults, language, ESL, writing, rejection letters, getting published, sobriety, apartment fires, the LGBTQIAS+ community, creative routines, and more.
For your chance to win a free hardcopy of I Felt the End Before It Came, check out these Facebook and Instagram posts. Contest ends Thursday, February 29.
Follow @danielallencox on Instagram and check out his website at danielallencox.net
Loving shout-outs to @dansavage and the It Gets Getter Project
Daniel Allen Cox, Episode Breakdown
0:00 Intro and Theme Song
1:05 Very fun break re free book giveaway
2:53 Daniel’s bio
4:09 Intro to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Beyond their persistent canvassing skills, who are these people, really?
4:58 First two pages of I Felt the End Before It Came
7:25 The internal experience of being a Jehovah’s Witness: Do they feel special and like they are better than everyone else?
13:47 The discrepancies in how JW rules are interpreted
16:49 No Blood Transfusions Allowed: JW’s medical belief and their view of death
27:46 Being a queer JW teenager and the process of disfellowship
40:28 The importance of language in cults. Daniel goes to Poland to teach ESL and eventually binge-write his first novella
46:59 Is writing about your experience cathartic and therapeutic? Is writing ever cathartis and therapeutic?
53:09 Writing, rejection letters, and getting published
53:42 Daniel’s stint with alcohol and how he approaches sobriety and why he doesn’t necessarily call the process “recovery”
1:07:26 Erica and Daniel bond over their respective apartment fires
1:14:37 Listener question from Young Transgender Atheist Caught in End Times
1:24:14 Daniel’s morning and creative routines
1:35:13 If Daniel would change one thing about the world
1:38:07 Half-bad Ukulele Segment: Torn by Nathalie Umbrulia
Mixing, Ukulele, and Cover Art by Erica J. Schmidt in Montréal, Quebec.
Follow Erica on Facebook or Instagram or check out her website at ericajschmidt.com. You can also make her day by sending her a listener question to any of these places.
Listener Question from Young Transgender Atheist in End Times
Dear Erica and Daniel,
I live in the Bible Belt, and my parents have raised me fundamentalist since birth. Following God’s advice to “go forth and multiply,” they keep having kids and I am the oldest of nine siblings. My parents regularly pray while screaming. They think they can cure sick people by putting their hands on them, speak in tongues, the works. They hate all people of other faiths, and anyone even ASSOCIATED with the LGBTQIAS+ community. They think being gay or different is a disease, caused by the devil, and that homosexuality can be "cured".
They do not know I am an atheist, nor that I feel like I was born into the wrong gender.
My father was extremely upset when I didn't want to take up sports. He’s always asking why I can’t be more masculine like other boys my age. I have felt like I should have been born a girl my entire life, in that I cannot remember a time when I did not feel this way. If I told my parents, I have no idea what they would do. Maybe they’d disown me, maybe something else, I don't know. I am too afraid to find out, given how I have seen them act towards people different from them. I am not happy here.
I tried wearing a simple pink bracelet, just to remind myself of who I really am without it being too obvious. My dad took it away from me, saying "It makes you look like a fag." My dad grew up Jewish and after finding Christianity, stopped talking to his parents when he could not convert them.
I don’t know how long I can continue living in this bible-thumping family pretending I am someone I am not. But the dangers of telling the truth are so real. What is your advice for surviving this horrible situation? Please let me know what you think.
Love, Young Transgender Atheist caught in End Times.
Thank you as always to Taes Leavitt (darling big sister, Big Heart Journey), Sherwin Tjia (technical and creative advisor, Sherwin’s Quirky Events), and my dearly departed aunt Eileen Gun, whose generous gift helped to fund my new podcast equipment. Thank you so much for listening! Stay tuned for more episodes extra soon. Don’t forget to follow This Is Your Strange and Beautiful Life on your favourite podcast platform. And if you enjoyed the episode, I would be immensely grateful if you could share it with a friend and/or leave a kind and enthusiastic rating and review.
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